Motivation Isn’t the Answer – How to Get Things Done When You’re Not Motivated

If I waited to be motivated to do something, it would NEVER happen. Motivation isn’t something that ever shows up for me. That’s right, I am the epitome of unmotivated.

However, since I decided to embark on my journey to defeat depression, I have found that if I could create habits that will help me reach my goals, it wouldn’t matter if motivation showed up or not. I stopped waiting to be motivated and did what I had to anyway, no matter how I felt. It wasn’t easy, but I wanted to change my life and the only way to do that was to change was I was doing.
I’ve read books on motivation, wrote affirmations, listened to podcasts and audio books. It all sounded great; but I never became motivated. So, I began seeking other ways to get myself to do the things that needed to be done.
Think about it, do we ever really want to do laundry, do the dishes, pay bills, do our taxes…….. you get the point. For most of us, no we don’t want to do it, but know that we have to. So, I took that same theory, and just put it into every aspect of my life.
There were a few things that I noticed were holding me back, and I think them may be more universal than just me. Here they are.

Lack of belief in yourself:

To accomplish anything, you must believe in yourself. If you doubt your abilities or convince yourself that the negative voices in your head are right and you will never get what you want in life, your motivation will die. This happens to me often. I fix it by reading my list of affirmations that I’ve created to get me through the hard times. They remind me every single day that I can do it, that I deserve it and that it will happen.

Negative people:

This is a big killer. You know, those outside sources, aka people ,who love to ridicule everything everyone else tries to do. The people who are so miserable and rarely accomplish much themselves, that they have a need to put you down and dis your goals and dreams. Get away from them! Unfollow them! Kick them out of your life. No one needs this! Flock to the people who support you especially when you doubt yourself.

Impatience:

Patience is one of the hardest things to have when you’ve got big goals and dreams. We get so excited to see the end result that frustration sets in and our impatience kills our motivation. Stay true to your course and know that you will succeed.

Fear of Failure:

Most everyone has at one time or other been afraid of failing. This is the thing, everyone fails. Failure is terrifying to a lot of us. Do not let this fear be the reason your motivation dies. At the end of every failure is a lesson waiting to be learned. I’ve learned as I grow a little older and realize that my days are limited (don’t know why I had to wait to turn 50 to realize this), I would much rather look back and have tried something and failed, than to look back with regret and wonder would could have happened. That makes me so sad, that I’d rather fail than not have tried at all.

I know how hard it can be to get motivated and even harder to stay motivated. Heck, I’ve had days where I couldn’t even get out of bed, so I really know how hard it is. Just keep thinking of what the end result is that you desire; and decide that you don’t even need motivation to keep going. Decide that you will get there no matter how you feel about doing.
When quitting sometimes seems like the best option or the thought of not even starting, remember that it will only make you feel worse in the long run. If you have already made a few steps forward, don’t stay there; and definitely don’t go backwards. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep on going. Think of how happy your future self will be!

Get out there and go after what you want!

 

Dawn 😊

How the Habit of Journaling Can Help Defeat Depression

Journaling has been a key habit in my journey to defeat depression. Many mental health experts recommend journaling because it can improve your mood and manage symptoms of depression. Studies support this and suggest journaling is good for your mental health.

It allows you to take control. When your thoughts and worries swirl around, putting pen to paper can cut down the chaos. When we write things down, they feel more manageable. It can shift your viewpoint.

Keeping a journal gives you a chance to use positive self-talk. Being able to vent on the pages of your journal gives you a quick release. Objectivity will return and you’ll be able to move forward.

Without a journal, intense emotional experiences can be crippling for hours, days, and even years. However, an honest and inspired journal session can be the best form of therapy — quickly returning you better and smarter than you were before.

If you are new to journaling, it’s can be a daunting process. Where to start, what to write in, what do I write? I had a really hard time. I wrote so many pages and then days later I would go back and read it, not like what I wrote, and tear it out. I’ve thrown out more pages than I have kept. What I’ve learned, though, is its more important to get my feelings on paper. I don’t go back and read them (well at least for quite awhile) and if I do, I don’t judge anymore. It was real, and how I felt.

Here are a few journal prompts that I used to begin to be consistent about journaling. It’s a good place to start.

FIVE MINUTE JOURNAL PROMPTS
Morning
I am grateful for…
What would would make today great?
Daily affirmation. I am…

Night
3 Amazing things that happened today…
How could I have made today even better?

 

Wishing you blue skies and sunshine,

Dawn

Changing the Negative Self-Talk in Your Head

It’s so easy to dwell on the past. The past pains, failures, mistakes, the list goes on……. But that doesn’t mean we can’t change how we think today. 🤔

We know what our automatic negative thoughts are that swirl around in our heads. If we plan ahead of time with a new positive thought or habit we want to replace it, we can be ready when our mind throws it out at us. We can then recognize it, stop it, and consciously think the positive thought or do the positive action in place of it. Do this over and over and over again, until the new positive thought/habit becomes automatic. 💫

👉 REAL LIFE EXAMPLES:

I had the recurring thought (from my subconscious) for years, “I’m depressed and can’t be happy.” I replaced that thought with, “I can control my thoughts, and I happy and grateful for today, and all that I have.” Now, did I believe I was happy? NO. But I learned that our minds believe what we tell it over and over. Does this mean I’m happy every moment of the day, of course not. Shit happens. But, I have replaced the negative thought and I don’t think about being depressed anymore. I think about being happy and grateful. And that helps me to grow more positive thoughts and create new positive habits (like exercise, journaling, etc.).

……More to come

 

Wishing you blue skies and sunshine,

Dawn

 

 

10 Ways to Take Charge of Your Life NOW

We all want to feel like we’re in charge of our lives, having everything together. The unfortunate truth is that many of us struggle to take charge of our lives and feel like we’re lacking some control. This happens even more when we get around those who seem to have control of their lives with everything they need at their fingertips.

In my quest to defeat depression in my life, I have discovered ten ways to start to take control of my life.

1) Be diligent in taking yourself

It’s crucial to make time in your week to devote to self-care. The busier you get, the harder it seems to be to make time for yourself and, unfortunately, that’s when you need it most. Make time to take care of your personal needs, whatever they may be. After all, if you’re not at your best how can you expect to do your best work. Taking charge of your schedule and your personal health is an important first step to take control of your life.

2) Do what you want, despite convention

A big part of taking charge in your life is putting an end to the bad habit of letting others have a say in what you do. Don’t disregard good advice but ultimately live a life that is yours.

3) Get organized

This step may seem a little different and trivial compared to the others but getting organized is an important part of taking control of your life. Being organized can help to lessen your stress and anxiety, keep you in command of your schedule, and make your life easier overall.

4) Remember the power of “no”

While it’s important to be open to new experiences and opportunities, it’s more important to know your limitations. You can’t do everything, and no one can expect you to. You have to prioritize and say no to some things to keep your sanity. The decision of what to say no to should be left entirely up to you, allowing you to take charge in your life.

5) Be open to new opportunities

It’s easy to let saying no get out of hand and become closed off to new opportunities, experiences, and adventures. If a new opportunity comes your way, weigh it out. Consider the following: is it good for you; is it something you want to do or a stepping stone to something you want? If you answered yes to either of those questions, don’t let the opportunity slip through your fingers.

6) Make a goal list

Making a goal list is a good way to take charge of your future. It’s most effective when you parse your goals into multiple, reachable goal lists. This will help ensure you actually achieve your goals rather than just making the list and setting it aside. Be sure to measure your progress as you go, so you know where you stand.

7) Make “By the time I’m [age]” lists

Slightly different than the generic goal list we mentioned above, the “By the time I’m…” list is for things you want to have or have achieved by that age.

For example, common “By the time I’m 30” lists include things like getting married, getting set up in a career, and starting a family, while common things found on “By the time I’m 65” lists are retirement, moving to the beach, and traveling more frequently. These lists can help you keep track of what you want and ensure that you’re getting the most out of your life and taking charge of it.

8) Strive to empower and be empowered by others

One way to truly take charge of your life and ensure you’re headed in the right direction is to both be an example to others and learn things from others. It’s important to learn from those around you and allow them to inspire and empower you. It’s also important to strive to empower others and to be the best example you can be.

9) Stop settling

If you’ve been wasting your time settling for things you don’t really want, you’ll wind up wasting your life on adequacy. While in certain cases, settling is excusable or even acceptable, you can’t settle with everything in your life. A big part of taking charge of your life is getting rid of or turning down things you either don’t want or are detrimental to you.

10) Love and accept yourself

The only way in which you’ll ever take charge of your life is if you accept yourself for who you are, accept what you want in life, and treat yourself with love and kindness. Accept and appreciate the things you want in life, because if you don’t, who will.

A Healthy Lifestyle is 100% Mindset – You Can Do It!

To live a healthy & fit life, 20% of your results will come from your workouts, 80% from your nutrition, but 100% from your MINDSET. Think of the reasons you either got to the point where you are or gave up in the past.

“I can’t get motivated…. I don’t have time…  I don’t have the discipline to exercise….. I don’t have the self-control to stick to a diet….  I will never be a fit and healthy person… I can’t afford a gym….  I can’t afford healthy foods….”  ALL of these are SELF-LIMITING BELIEFS.

What if you knew that if you changed your mindset, you could achieve ANYTHING you want? It can be done through PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT. This is what the most successful people in the world do every day to start their day with a positive, goal-oriented mindset. This is what changed for me and started me down the path to defeating depression and living the life I truly desired . . . happy, healthy, purposeful!

A HUGE contributor to my mindset change was a book that I highly recommend, “The Miracle Morning” by Hal Elrod. It helps sets the foundation of new habits that give YOU the POWER to change your life. It gave me the foundation I needed to take control of my life and stop being a victim to depression and to all of the things that happen in life that are out of our control.

Here is what I have learned during my journey, things that were keeping me from succeeding in my life.

1. No focus:  I didn’t set goals, I didn’t put my goals in writing, and didn’t keep my goals in mind daily (by reading them, affirming them, looking at a vision board, etc.).
2. No priorities: I didn’t create a system for my priorities and by not really setting goals in writing, I could I set priorities. They go hand in hand.
3. No support system: I tried to go at it alone; no buddy system, partners, friends, mentors or coaches to turn to for information and emotional support when the going got tough.
4. No Accountability: I didn’t share what I wanted to do, so I didn’t have anything to be accountable to. I didn’t up external accountability.
6. No planning: I winged it. For example, for my health and fitness journey I didn’t have a workout planned or a schedule or meal plans.

Are you guilty of any of these transgressions? If so, the solutions are clear and simple:
Focus, prioritize, get support, be accountable, be patient, and plan.

If you are looking for a supportive group where you can find all of this, check out our Facebook Group. I found my support in a Facebook Group and started my own to share what I learned there and create a loving and supportive community where we can all flourish.

Wishing you blue skies and sunshine.

Control Your Morning – Win the Day

I used to lay in bed, kept hitting snooze, rolling over and snuggling up even tighter in my blankets not wanting to start the day. My mind, immediately upon waking, started with negative thoughts: I don’t want to get up, F&*k it’s that time already, and a whole lot of other shitty thoughts. By the time I actually get my ass out of bed, I have started my day in a shitty mood and my mind full of negativity. That’s what living with depression starts out like in the morning; and the day that followed kept the same mood flowing all day.

That’s what no control looks like. I let my negative thoughts lead my life. One day, I said no more. I am taking control of thoughts, my mind, my life. Through research and reading, I found that successful and happy people had many things in common and one of those is they take control of their morning with a routine that sets them up for success. I made a conscious choice to wake with certain thoughts and take certain actions that would help me start my day in a positive way.

Here are 6 habits I have adopted in my morning to set my day up to win.

1. My first thought when the alarm goes off is “I am grateful to wake up today. I am grateful I get this day with my husband and family. It’s going to be a great day.” Honesty disclaimer: I still would rather roll over and stay in bed. I really like my bed; but my mind no longer thinks about that. I do not allow negative thoughts in my mind and I focus on gratitude.
2. Personal Development Reading. I read for at least 15 minutes in the morning. It sets my mind up to look for ways to grow in my life and set my mindset to serve others.
3. Journal. I take at least 10 minutes to journal. I start with 3 things I’m grateful for, 3 things that would make the day great and then affirmations. This trains my mind to focus on the positive, on the person I want to be and what I want to do.
4. Drink water. Our bodies wake dehydrated. To get my body awake on the inside, I drink a bottle of water when I wake. Honesty disclaimer: Then I reach for my morning cup of coffee 🙂
5. Exercise. Exercising for even just a few minutes in the morning significantly boosts my energy, enhances my health, improves self-confidence, emotional well-being and enables my brain to function better. Exercise has become my new medicine for depression.
6. Breakfast. Our bodies has been fasting for hours and needs fuel to get moving. My morning breakfast is a delicious super-food smoothie. This makes it simple to make, it includes foods that fuel my body and brain. This has been integral to my healing.

Creating a routine that includes all of these habits has helped my defeat depression. It changes my mindset when I take action. It changes my mindset because I am consciously controlling my thoughts and not slipping into my old negative thought patterns. It changes how I feel overall. My body feels good and I mentally feel good, because I have accomplished something to begin the day.

Try it for 21 days  (the amount of time the “experts” say it takes to create a new habit). You have nothing to lose, everything to gain.

If you have any questions or want help to set up a morning routine that will work for you, please message me. Nothing brings me greater joy than to share what I’ve learned about defeating depression and living a happy, purposeful life.

Wishing you blue skies and sunshine,

Dawn

Exercise Helped Me Defeat Depression – It Can Help You Too!

When I decided to take an active role in defeating depression, I did hundreds of hours of reading and researching. I knew I had to make big changes in my life, create new habits and create new thoughts. I came across two books that ‘spoke’ to me: The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod and The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins. The Miracle Morning is based on creating a morning routine that includes Silence, Affirmations, Visualizations, Exercise, Reading, and Scribing (SAVERS). I knew that starting the day differently would help me start the day with a more positive mindset, a different mindset. So this is where I started. I will get into the SAVRS in another post. This post is about the E.

But, I have to admit that exercise is of one of the hardest habits I started on my journey to take control of my life and defeat depression. It was also the most profound in helping me. This wasn’t about losing weight. This was about making healthy decisions for my body and mind that would be empowering, boost my self-confidence, and positively impact all areas of your life. It was much easier said than done. Motivation runs out and excuses get easier. I knew I had to just do it now matter how I felt. What I found was working out in the morning is energizing! It is also mentally satisfying, because it’s something BIG accomplished early and it give me the feeling that I can do anything that day! This was HUGE for me!

The problem I had when I started was that I knew I wanted to exercise at home. I didn’t want to drive to a gym in the morning. I don’t like working out at the gym. I know this because my husband is in the gym 4-5 days a week. I would go with him sometimes and I just find it intimidating. Having always been filled with self-doubt, I felt like I was doing things wrong, or I was self-conscious that didn’t look as good as the other ladies. It just added my more anxiety to my life instead of making me feel better. So, I started using YouTube videos and it worked fine; but it was still lots of work to find the days workout.

I was fortunate to stumble across a health and fitness coach who uses Beachbody programs, and said yes to that online workout program (hundreds of workouts), yes to proper nutrition, and yes to myself. The workouts are easy to stream on my TV or laptop, there are so many options, there are schedules (which I need) within each program, there are modifications in the workouts for beginners (like me), meal plans, recipes and lots of motivation. I needed EASY because I am really good at excuses. Having to only hit play and follow made it much harder to come up with excuses that I could live with.

What I also got was an amazing group of women on their fitness and wellness journey, too. I became part of an online community that supports each other, cheers each other on, and we even workout together online sometimes. I have made some wonderful friends along the way. I have learned that I am stronger than I believed I was (depression does that). I have learned that almost everyone has something they struggle with. I wasn’t alone in struggling with depression and self-doubt. I’ve been part of this group for one year now and not sure if I could have stayed committed without them.

I feel so strongly about how much this has helped me, that I have said YES to being a wellness coach with this fitness company. I am empowered by how it helped me defeat depression and I have to share it with everyone who is on a journey to feel better and stronger (mentally and physically), who are looking for a stepping stone for an overall happy, healthy life.

 

 

First Signs of Depression to Healing…..How I Changed My Life and You Can, too!

 

I’m so grateful to Laura Milkins who hosts The Depression Session  for interviewing me so I can share my story of depression on her live radio show and her podcast, Laura is on a mission to change the stigma of mental illness and depression by sharing stories of everyday people and their journey with depression.

I was excited to find someone who was also passionate about changing the stigma of depression. This is my passion; and also to help women on a path to wellness through routine, personal development, health and fitness.

I literally defeated depression by fueling my body with clean food that optimized my brain health and changed its chemistry, by exercising daily to make my body better and also produce the ‘happy’ chemicals our brains need to produce, and by spending time every day om personal development.

I want to help you do this, too. Please message me if you are looking for change in your life.

Here’s the link to the podcast:

The Depression Session – My Interview – My Depression Story

Meditating Your Way to Happiness

When your brain works right, you work right. When your brain is troubled, you are most likely having trouble in life. Simple. It takes a healthy brain to be happy and to make better decisions. But, how do we get it healthy?

We get our brain healthy just like we do the rest of our body – with nutrition, exercise and healthy habits. Disclaimer: I’m not a medical professional. I don’t claim to be. I’m just a woman who has been struggling with depression for over 10 years and I’ve decided to do everything I can in my power to feel better. This blog is sharing what I’ve discovered, what is working for me and hopefully inspiring others to share.

One of the healthy habits I’ve started is meditation. It has become a part of my morning routine (thanks to Hal Elrod’s book, The Miracle Morning, you can get the first 2 chapters free on Hal’s website: http://halelrod.com/books/).  Studies have shown that meditation boosts blood flow to the prefrontal cortex.

The prefrontal cortex is involved in a wide variety of functions, including:

– Coordinating and adjusting complex behavior
– Impulse control and control and organization of emotional reactions
– Personality
– Focusing and organizing attention
– Complex planning
– Considering and prioritizing competing and simultaneous information; the ability to ignore external distractions is partially influenced by the prefrontal cortex

After 8 weeks of daily meditation, the increased blood flow created a stronger prefrontal cortex at and also helped increase memories of those being studied.

It makes sense, when you think about your heart and blood flow. When blood flow is decrease the heart doesn’t work very well. When the blood flow is optimal (no restrictions, no blockages, no cholesterol build up) the heart is very healthy, the person is healthy. The same blood flow applies to the brain and every other organ in our body.

Give it a try, even for just 5 minutes a day. You have nothing to lose, it’s free! The worse thing that can happen is that you spent 5 minutes in silence with yourself. 🙂

Here are few places I started:

https://www.artofliving.org/us-en/8-tips-get-started-meditation

https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-42/Meditation-Techniques-for-Beginners-5-Easy-Tips.html

http://www.chopra.com/articles/start-here-5-meditation-styles-for-beginners#sm.00016hcarl38ye3qy3n14ae6bqswe

Would love to hear from you after you try meditation and also from those that already practice this. I’m still very much a beginner; but I feel the benefits! It has been a key part of my overcoming my depression.

Blue skies and sunshine,

Dawn xo

Depression is My Gift

I’m on a mission this year to transform my life and the lives of others seeking change. We all have a special gift. Those that use their gift, I believe, are blessed. That’s one of my goals: use my gifts to bless others.

I discovered my gifts when I hit my bottom emotionally. It’s then it hit me that I have gone through the events and trials in my life to gain strength, wisdom, empathy and use my life story to help other women.

I have depression. I thought it made me weak. I thought that because I couldn’t rid myself of the depression that I wasn’t good enough. So I hid it. I put on a great disguise; but it caused me to have low self esteem, to hide, to not be the person who I was put here to be.

It wasn’t until suffering the loss of my mother to cancer, my two only sisters to fast progressive disease, my father to heart failure (all at way too young ages), a divorce after 23 years, and hitting rock bottom financially that I feel like I have risen from the ashes and have to help others trying to find their way through depression and grief.

I’ve discovered that my gift is my story, my desire to lift other women, my will to make life the beautiful gift that it is.

So happy to be challenged by several beautiful woman in my life to be transparent and strong.

~ Wishing you blue skies and sunshine!

#GetGutsy #TribeBuildingChallengeDay1