Depression is My Gift

healthy-living

I’m on a mission this year to transform my life and the lives of others seeking change. We all have a special gift. Those that use their gift, I believe, are blessed. That’s one of my goals: use my gifts to bless others.

I discovered my gifts when I hit my bottom emotionally. It’s then it hit me that I have gone through the events and trials in my life to gain strength, wisdom, empathy and use my life story to help other women.

I have depression. I thought it made me weak. I thought that because I couldn’t rid myself of the depression that I wasn’t good enough. So I hid it. I put on a great disguise; but it caused me to have low self esteem, to hide, to not be the person who I was put here to be.

It wasn’t until suffering the loss of my mother to cancer, my two only sisters to fast progressive disease, my father to heart failure (all at way too young ages), a divorce after 23 years, and hitting rock bottom financially that I feel like I have risen from the ashes and have to help others trying to find their way through depression and grief.

I’ve discovered that my gift is my story, my desire to lift other women, my will to make life the beautiful gift that it is.

So happy to be challenged by several beautiful woman in my life to be transparent and strong.

~ Wishing you blue skies and sunshine!

#GetGutsy #TribeBuildingChallengeDay1

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Healthy Body, Healthy Mind?

I just don’t want to feel depressed anymore! What can I do?

Found out that I can do A LOT!

The light bulb went off in my head after trying a new medication. The medication helped me focus at first, but the side effects of feeling drugged and feeling nothing weren’t worth it. I hated it. Then it hit me! Why was I looking to medication first to fix my mind?

I think of it applied to, say, my car. When it runs out of gas, I don’t take it to the shop and ask for a new engine or a major repair. I instead, give it the proper fuel it needs and the car runs fine again. Or at an oil change, I request the high mileage oil because it helps the engine in my car run better than the low mile, low quality oil. I want the car to run well, so I put the best fuel in it and take care of it with regular maintenance.

I am doing some things to try to manage depression, like my morning routine, SAVERS, which I will share more on in another post. When I have bad days, though, my first thoughts are that my medication may need to be adjusted, or maybe try another one.

WHY did I not think to change my fuel?

WHY did I  not think I needed more “maintenance” aka exercise?

Maybe because I wanted an easy solution. Maybe because I just didn’t connect the dots.

In any case, I wasn’t doing that with my body which fuels my mind. I was eating kind of healthy and exercising kind of regular; which gave me kind of an OK result. I don’t want to feel OK. I want to feel good….. GREAT! So, when I realized I wasn’t giving my body all of the nutrients it needs to operate at its best, I set out to change it. I spent hours researching food nutrients, what my body needs, what helps boost the brain; and I created a list of foods I need everyday. It’s a process and I am spending 30 minutes everyday learning more and creating meal plans that fuel my body and mind (I will post this information in future posts).

I have also added at least 30 minutes of exercise a day into my schedule. This is a priority and cannot be skipped. I know that doing this daily will make me feel better mentally, and also make my body stronger and healthier. It’s just like taking my medication daily. I don’t skip that, so why would I skip exercise?

I guess its about taking responsibility for my mental health and doing everything I can to ward off depression. Instead of being passive and just letting life happen, letting depression happen; I am becoming an active participant in how I feel.  I have the power! I know I can’t just delete depression from my life; but I sure as hell can put up a better fight!