The Day I Felt Normal

feeling_normal_mugNovember 15, 2015 – This is what normal feels like! I wrote in my journal, “this is fabulous”.

It had been so long since I’ve felt “normal”. What is normal? For me, its the clouds and weight lifted and I just feel like I can do everyday activities without being down. There’s no “gray” in my day. I just woke and was ready to take on what came my way.

I want that EVERYDAY! I don’t know how to repeat it. I want to bottle it so I can feel it everyday.

We were out of town for a hockey tournament and we woke up to drive home. I got up, took a shower without talking myself into it. I packed the room and helped load in truck. We drove home for 3 hours, and I was chatting the entire way – actually having a conversation, not just staring out into space feeling numb. I even cracked a couple funnies that made everyone smile. The feeling stayed with me the entire day!

Two days prior, my partner and I were discussing some issues we were having and literally 5 minutes into the conversation, I felt so down and sad that I thought if I didn’t have kids, there is no purpose for me being here. I feel like I’m just enduring it because I have children, a grandson, and a partner that I love. That gets exhausting, though!

Thankfully, a different feeling revealed itself on 11/15/15 and it’s the day I decided that depression will not lead my life anymore. I will find a way for normal to rule. I like normal. I deserve normal.

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “The Day I Felt Normal

  1. Yes! You deserve “normal”, whatever that looks like for you. Life is too wonderful to spend it in the throes of depression. I know. Glad to hear you experienced such a great day! I hope there are many more in store for you! Keep going!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s